If your favourite part of travelling is paying 895 pounds a year to stand in a queue for a lukewarm buffet, I have great news for you. American Express just opened a new lounge in Las Vegas called the Sidecar. It is tiny, it is crowded, and it is specifically designed to make sure you do not actually relax. Why settle for a massive airport terminal when you can pay a premium to wait in a slightly posher cupboard?
The flagship Centurion Lounge has become so packed that it looks more like a busy tube station than an exclusive retreat. To solve this, AmEx decided to open a “mini” version. It measures a grand total of 1,500 square feet. For those who do not speak architect, that is about the size of a three bedroom flat. They have crammed 33 seats into this space and called it a luxury experience.
No Buffet, No Showers, No Peace
The rules for this new pit stop are just as charming as the floor plan. You cannot even enter until 90 minutes before your flight. Forget arriving early for a cheeky gin and tonic. They want you in and out before you can even think about getting comfortable.
- The Menu: You will not find a buffet here. Instead, you get “menu frills” like lobster rolls and black garlic aioli. It is basically a very expensive snack bar with better branding.
- The Missing Bits: They have ditched the showers, the family rooms, and the actual reclining seats. It turns out the best way to stop people from overstaying their welcome in a lounge is to make sure there is nowhere to actually lounge.
- The Competition: American Airlines recently opened a 10 seat version of their club. It seems the airline industry has decided that “tiny homes” are the future of luxury travel.
The High Cost of a Quick Stop
It takes a special kind of marketing genius to convince people that less is more while still charging them a fortune. You are essentially paying for a posh waiting room that prevents you from seeing the riff raff in the main terminal for exactly one hour and thirty minutes. If you enjoy feeling like a very fancy sardine, this is the travel hack of the century.
JetBlue also launched a lounge recently with a 140 person capacity. Compared to the Sidecar, that feels like a massive rave in a stadium. The industry clearly thinks we want “grab and go” luxury, which is just a polite way of saying they want your money but they would really prefer it if you did not hang around.
Perhaps next year they will just give us a designer cardboard box and a single shrimp for a thousand pounds. At least the aioli would be top notch.
Related topic: Travel
