It turns out that if you want to stop a teenager from doing something, you don’t just tell them “no” anymore. You pass a law that threatens Big Tech with a twenty five million pound fine. Australia has officially become the first country to ban anyone under sixteen from using the heavy hitters of social media. We are talking about TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and X. If you are fifteen and living in Sydney, your digital life just got a very sudden reboot.
The government says they are doing this for the good of the kids. They point to scary numbers showing that nearly every child was on social media and most of them were seeing things that would make a sailor blush. From cyberbullying to content promoting eating disorders, the Australian authorities decided the risk simply isn’t worth the reward of a few likes.
The Banned List
The ban covers ten major platforms, but the government was quite picky about who got the boot. They looked at whether a site’s main job is letting people chat and post things.
| Platform | Status |
| TikTok & Instagram | Banned for Under-16s. |
| YouTube & Reddit | Banned (despite some legal whining). |
| Facebook & X | Banned and profiles deactivated. |
| Allowed (apparently, texting is still fine). | |
| YouTube Kids | Allowed (the “safe” version survives). |
How on Earth Do They Know Your Age?
This is where things get a bit “sci-fi.” Social media firms now have to take “reasonable steps” to check ages. They can’t just take your word for it anymore. They are looking at using government IDs, facial recognition, or even “age inference.” That last one is particularly creepy, as it involves an AI watching your behaviour to guess if you are a forty year old man or a thirteen year old girl.
Meta, the giant behind Facebook, has already been busy. They reportedly shut down over five hundred thousand accounts in the first few days of the ban. If you get kicked off by mistake, you have to send a video selfie to prove you have a few more wrinkles than a teenager.
Does It Actually Work?
Critics are already pointing out the massive holes in this plan. For one, gaming sites like Roblox and Discord are still wide open. Then there is the issue of VPNs. In the lead up to the ban, downloads for location hiding apps went through the roof. Teenagers are smart. If you lock the front door, they will just climb through the window.
There is also the worry about all this data. To prove you are old enough, you have to give these companies even more personal info. Given how often these firms get hacked, some people think the “safety” measure is actually just a massive security risk in a fancy suit.
Whether this makes kids happier or just more annoyed is still up for debate. For now, Australian teens will have to go back to the ancient art of actually talking to people in real life.
Try not to forget how to make eye contact.
Related topics: Oceanic
