Well, this is just a little bit ridiculous. A man in the US, presumably a budding logistics entrepreneur, has pleaded guilty to the frankly baffling crime of trying to ship 850 protected turtles to Hong Kong. But wait, it gets better. He wasn’t just shipping them; he was shipping them wrapped in socks. Because nothing says ‘luxury pet’ like a pair of cotton blend foot coverings.
According to the US Department of Justice (who clearly have a very exciting job), this chap, Wei Qiang Lin, spent over a year sending parcels to Hong Kong. He’s not just a casual smuggler, he’s a dedicated professional, with over 200 parcels sent in his time. The official paperwork for these boxes, which were packed to the brim with live reptiles, said they contained thrilling items like “plastic animal toys.” Honestly, you’ve got to admire the creativity. The audacity. The sheer nerve of it all.
The turtles in question were eastern box turtles and three toed box turtles, which are apparently highly sought after in China, where they’re considered a bit of a status symbol. I suppose a bit like a fancy car or a designer handbag, but with a shell and a life expectancy of about a hundred years. The total haul was valued at a cool $1.4 million (£1 million), which, let’s be honest, would probably buy you a very nice plastic animal toy collection.
This isn’t the first time this has happened, mind you. Back in March, another gentleman was sentenced to a two and a half year prison sentence for a similar plot, where he shipped over 2,000 turtles, also in socks, but labelled the boxes as “almonds and chocolate cookies.” You have to wonder what the postal workers must have thought. “Hmm, this box of cookies is moving and hissing a bit…”
Now, Mr Lin is facing up to five years in prison for his ill advised sock based smuggling operation. His sentencing is due on 23rd December, which is a bit of a rubbish way to spend Christmas. It’s a stark reminder that if you’re going to try and smuggle protected wildlife, you should at least invest in some decent packaging. Maybe some bubble wrap? A little breathing room? And for goodness sake, call them something more believable than a “toy”. The phrase ‘illegal animal trafficking’ might not be a keyword you want to use, but at least it’s a bit more accurate.
